Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Plastic Wives

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Frances Marques holding her labia in a jar
labia in a jar


Frances Marques getting a botox injection on Plastic Wives
botox injections
In an earlier blogpost of mine I mentioned how I'd tune in to see a new show such as 'Plastic Surgery Housewives.' Lo and behold, TLC has just announced a new show starting January 27th: Plastic Wives. This series will focus on the frivolous lives of four Beverly Hills mannequins who are married to the most successful plastic surgeons in Hollywood, and document their ongoing beautification at the hands of their husbands.

The newspaper article introducing this new program includes the above photo of Frances Marques holding up a keepsake in a jar - her severed labia bathed in pickling juice, taking on a life of its own. 'It looks better in the jar,' she says, 'rather than hanging down there.' In spite of all the parts this bashful woman had redone ('from here to my camel toe') in order to keep her husband, he still left her for a younger woman.  Perhaps he tired of  seeing her flabby labby on the dressing table.

Veronica Matlock's husband do work on a vaginaAlso 'starring' on the show is Veronica Matlock, who calls her husband 'The Vagina Man.'  He's a real hoot. As part of his charm, he concedes 'I don't recognize people by their faces.'  I've always been puzzled by men who specialize in women's vaginas.

Also featured is Dayna Devon, a former Extra! presenter who is filmed on the show getting botox injections.  At the age of 40 she says that she's reached her 'shelflife' and as she'd like to keep working for a few more years in the biz, she feels the need for plastic surgery.

A lot of this show takes place in the operating rooms of their husbands, so if you're squeamish about needles and labia majoras, this isn't for you. Even the most reality hardened t.v. viewer might find it hard to stomach. It's plastic surgery pornography in its inception as I'm sure there will be more shows of this ilk on their way. This show is so bad it will make Keeping Up With The Kardashians look like Masterpiece Theatre.

At one time in Hollywood, no one would admit to having had any work done. Now, it's as normal as buying a Buick Sierra. Washed-up television stars will do absolutely anything to renew their former five minutes of fame.