Serial Killers Pay It Forward

In a case that lasted over ten years and was fraught with charges of corruption and ineptidude, Long Island's serial killing is now finally over and the suspect in custody awaiting charges for kidnapping and murder. Once a new cold case team got on it, it didn't take long to put the pieces together. And, of course, the man who ruined everyone's day at the beach for years was just a normal guy, albeit a narcissistic architect and porn viewer who neglected his family and his house, a rundown, paint-peeling piece of shit that didn't fit in his upper middle-class neighborhood where he'd lived for 30 years. However, much as the neighbors didn't like Rex and crossed the street when his 6'4" frame lumbered towards them, none of them suspected a serial killer living in their midst.  

Heuermann's house in Long Island

There is a discussion on social media, including interviews with the neighbors, of what will become of Heuermann's childhood home which he bought from his ailing mother in 1994 for $170,000. He had hoped to live there after his retirement with his step-son and his wife of over two decades, Asa Ellerup. Most of Heuermann's neighbors would favor the demolition of the spooky eyesore that housed the intimidating hulk who scowled at his neighbors and leered over his fence at the woman next door. However, I believe the demolition of the house would be a grave mistake. 

There is money to be made in misery and horror. A vast swathe of today's television viewers watch crime and cop shows. Golly gee mom and pop shows and brain dead sitcoms like Friends have been replaced with true crime shows of every ilk. Murder, stalking, serial killings, arsonists, live car chases, psycho neighbors, police busts, home invasions, robberies and car-jackings are the normal fare on television. Serial killers are the new famous faces of the millenium and once arrested, tried and put in jail, their notariety and popularity only grows, with some receiving hundreds of marriage proposals from women who obviously need a psychiatrist, in lieu of a lobotomy. With these facts in mind, here's what I propose for the property of Rex Heuermann.

Turn his house into a museum for the morbidly curious. Bonus? No reconstruction costs. No renovations required. No lawns, no gardens, no paint, no nothing. Every shirt would remain where it hung when he was arrested in downtown Manhatten. The cellar where he chopped up the bodies, the hammer with the dried blood hanging on the wall, the freezer where the heads were kept, the bones that he buried in the backyard, the souvenirs that he may have stowed, even the sweaty underwear beside his bed. All of it as it was when he was arrested. If the locals chipped in to buy the house and a board were elected from the neighborhood, think of the money that could be spent towards a new park, a new school, or another library. They could afford bus tickets to Washington DC for the indigent laying on their sidewalks. Any expenses incurred by the locals would be reimbursed within a few short years from the money earned through the museum and bus tours. Have Rex Heuermann's crimes pay it forward. Let him compensate the neighborhood for destroying its anonymity and good reputation.   

Borden's house, Massachusetts

This idea is nothing new, it's been done before. There are millions of morbid customers interested in paying to see the lives and homes of the despicable and notorious and the more evil, the better. The site would be popular, as are the homes of many infamous: Gary Ridgeway's house in Seattle, the Menendez brothers house in Hollywood, Al Capone's house in Miami, even Alcatraz that housed dozens of killers is still open for business. True crime fans can even spend a spooky night in the home of Lizzie Borden, the timid daughter who hacked her father and step-mother to death with an ax. Let's take lemons and turn them into cold hard cash.