String Implants

Elizabeth Starr, a porn star and mother of two, is suffering today for the two huge mistakes she made in 1999:  In order to further her career in porning, she agreed to the latest in breast implant operations. The string implant, an invention of Dr. Gerald Johnson, is a procedure which has since been banned by the FDA. Within days of the operation, Starr was experiencing excruciating pain and, since her first operation, has had a staggering sixty plus operations to try and resolve the problems in her right breast. Doctors have now warned that if she does not have a double mastectomy, she may die. However, she is loathe to do so as she says she won't have a means to support herself if she does have them removed. Well, if you're dead Liz, you won't have to worry about that anymore.


Most of the women who get these type of implants are in the porn industry, such as Maxi Mounds, seen below posing in her pink and white bikini. The women in the photo above look deformed, with nipples that head off into different directions like the eyes on some kind of sea monster. I don't imagine that any man would find these women attractive. No wait, some men would.

The implants consist of wool-like polypropylene fibers (or strings) which slowly absorb water. These strings act as an irritant to the implant pocket which causes the production of serum, which in turn fills the implant pocket on a continual basis resulting in the expansion of the breast. The growth of the breast is only relieved by the removal, by syringe, of the serum. However, one problem is that breasts can inflate at different rates. The result of this operation is that breasts will continue to grow and grow and grow, resulting in ridiculously large breasts.

The horror of string implants is that they are made from polypropylene, a thermoplastic polymer used in the manufacture of ropes, thermal underwear, carpets, stationery, plastic parts, reusable containers of various types, laboratory equipment, loudspeakers, automotive components, and polymer banknotes, just the kind of goo you want to nourish your body.

If somebody asked you if you wanted this stuff wrapped around your muscle fiber, even if it enhanced your 'career' five-fold and triple-digited your bank account, would anybody in their right mind agree? I'll never understand breast implants, except after a mastectomy. It's just sheer lunacy, not to mention a gross mutilation of one's body.

No, this picture of Chelsea Charms, an exotic dancer, is not photo-shopped. This woman has the largest breasts in the world coming in at a whopping 164XXX. Their names? Itsy and Bitsy. Chelsea's breasts are still growing at a rate of one inch per month and each one weighs the same as two large watermelons, a result of which she has to do special exercises in order to hold herself in an upright position. She also has trouble eating, sleeping and fitting into airline toilets. Eventually, she says, she's going to have them removed. However, an operation of this sort is not like removing a silicone implant; the polypropylene strings wind themselves right into the fabric of the muscle. I can't imagine the skin on her chest once those wild horses are out of there. Here's another name for your breasts Chelsea: Stupid and Stupider.